I admit: I was an airplane virgin. I had never been in one before, until the last London weekend. The school holidays I spent with my family, were always fun days in the Netherlands, as we had lots of pets we couldn’t leave behind. Of course I’ve been to Belgium and Germany, but that’s next door. And my first real trip – to France, with my teachers and classmates – was by bus.
For trips to the UK I always took the ferry, as I like boats and water. But since there wasn’t one that would get me back in time for work, I decided to try flying. After I’d finally found where to ‘check in’ online, I heard from my friends Adrianus and Jan their flight had been cancelled! (Next time I’ll show you how nice the ferry is, guys!) Anyway, I panicked for a moment, solved the problem by going out on the ferry, had a wonderful weekend and then the moment came where I’d fly back. For the first time…
I thought I’d followed all the rules, but when Edd saw me packing he advised me to leave my favourite soap with him, as they would’ve taken it from me because it wasn’t a tiny bottle. Apparently you can kill someone with a big amount of the right fluid. We went through all my stuff and I figured for myself that if they’d consider me a terrorist for a bottle of soap, they sure wouldn’t like my nail clipper-thingy on my keychain. So now I have my own little shelf at Edd’s with ‘dangerous stuff’. “Are you sure they won’t think my tampons are bullets?” Yeah, I’d be fine like this. I only needed to put all the liquids in a plastic bag when I arrived at the airport.
I was glad I managed to find the security people at the end of this labyrinth and saw people in front of me putting their stuff in sort of open plastic boxes. When it was my turn I wanted to ask this lady something, but her answer was: “Shh! Don’t talk to me!” (!) She went on: “Take off your shoes! And your scarf!” Astonished I took off my boots and showed her the creams I had nicely put in a plastic bag. Her comment to that was: “Can you read the website next time?! This is two hundred millilitres, not a hundred!” Pointing at my baby cream, of which I hadn’t thought it was that ‘much’ and which was only quarter full anyway. She kept the cream.
Then obviously this magic gate (well OK, I had seen one of those before) made a noise when I went through it. “Maybe it’s because I still have my phone in my pocket…” I explained. “Yes!” Sighed the lady who grabbed my phone from me to put it in one of those boxes too. It went so fast and suddenly I realised I still had my scarf on! “Oh, sorry, I forgot my scarf…” “Leave it on!” was the answer I got from another not-amused face. Then a lady searched me and I was dismissed.
At the other end I found a big hall of shops, where I called Edd to tell him they were mean to me. The signs were confusing too, but eventually there appeared a ‘gate number’ for the Eindhoven flight and even though it also said to wait, I went to find my gate. Which I did, surprisingly fast. But it didn’t stop there. When I was a teenager, I was never bothered by peer pressure (and so I never tried a cigarette), but here I could hear everyone thinking: “She doesn’t know where to stand in line”. Which I indeed didn’t and for which I got told off by this lady who was in charge of letting us on the plane.
People who know me are probably raising an eyebrow by now, wondering why I didn’t say something about it, but hey, it makes a funny story and when I had found a seat near the window, I didn’t mind anymore. I was going to fly. And I loved it. It was over before I knew it though, but next time I’ll know what not to take with me, what to take off and where to stand in line. And I’ll just enjoy the view.
I remember thinking though (and don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate them taking security measures), you are allowed to have three bottles of a hundred millilitres, but you can’t have one of two hundred millilitres and one of a hundred?! That one still has me puzzled, so do enlighten ‘naïve me’ if you do understand.
Here’s ’my’ airplane at London Stansted Airport.
Finally, a ‘rollercoaster’ which doesn’t make me sick!
‘Upside down stars’, when landing in the Netherlands.
10 Comments
Funny you know, if you do these things on a regular basis, you take all this process for granted, refreshing to see what you made of it. It reminds me how frustrating regulations can sometimes be. Glad you enjoyed the first time. Come back soon
“I heard from my friends Adrianus and Jan their flight had been cancelled! (Next time I’ll show you how nice the ferry is, guys!)”
Ferry’s can sink, you know that.
OK, just kidding. But eh… boats take more time then planes, isn’t it?
Hi Adrianus V,
Indeed Ferry’s can sink but planes can come down and in that case they will take the same time to get you to haven! ( for ever )
Hanny I think the rules are ok and necessary, but I’m for sure, no were in the rules is standing to shout at people and to treat them like shit! I think the woman was angry that she has to work on the day that Jesus told us to take a break and rest for the hole Sunday!
Glad you loved the flying, I also was forced to fly for once, we were on our holiday in Spain when my mother in law passed away so we had no choice we had to fly for the first time. We were treated very nice by all the personal of the airport and security people also. And I loved it, the take off was so beautiful! To see the earth disappear and getting smaller, We have to do flying again very soon.
Kiss Dad
Hey yes, the ferry takes longer, but if you travel at night it’s really convenient, I think.
And yes, I’m sure these people were just having a bad day, which happens to all of us from time to time. It doesn’t make me like flying less. 
Yeah, the airport security is tough but necesarry. I get a lot of it (being a real jetseter and all that:))
I’m glad that you enjoyed the flight and got back in time for work. Shame about your lotion, though.
They tried to take my blanket once, I went crazy!!
Hoi Hanny,
I totally agree with you that ferries are much more fun than airplanes. That is the reason why I, when I travel to good old England, in principle ALWAYS, but unfortunately not to Astrofest, go by car and ferry!
My altime favourite “joyride” to Blighty is driving in my cute little yellow 2CV Van (the green one in my avatar is my other one, even older, which I inherited from my late father) to Duinkerken and then catch a most relaxing 2hour ferry-trip to Dover.
To see the white cliffs of Dover slowly appearing at the horizon when sailing at a ferry…..is still, even after 30 odd times, just wonderful!
Another thing I also still enjoy ever so much is “driving on the left”……I don’t know why but Those six hours on motorways and countrylanes in my 2CV “on the wrong (??) side of the road” All the way to Bath never seem to bore me….on the contrary… still love every minute of it!!
So “yes” ferries are great FUN….and “yes” they can sink of course…but..ah…If I do have to die I’d rather be at a ship or for that matter even better at the wheel of my humble 2CV than being squeezed in an aliminium tube packed like sardines at 30.000 feet in the sky!!
In the case of Astrofest however the plane seemed a better alternative than driving (and even worse parking!!) in overcongested London by car….
OK…In hindside we should have taken the car (and ferry)….but..ah…as a consolationprize I am happy that we were able to give you a warning in advance in order to prevent YOU from falling in the “London showtrap” as well!
Groetjezzz,
The other chap from Dordrecht
Heh, hi Jan. Yeah, I’m very grateful.
But erm, don’t get me wrong, I loved flying too! Hey and Edd wrote to the people of the airport and they sent an apology. 
Anyway, groetjes!
This made me grin. I’ve flown so much I’ve lost track how many times. When I lived in Europe I was on a plane 2-3 days every week. I’ll give you a couple of tips to dealing with airports.
If you can get away with it only travel with 1 carryon bag to avoid bagage checking. That way you can get off the plane and out of the airport quickly.
When you check-in at the counter, go to the 1st Class check-in desk. The line is always smaller. Claim ignorance as to what type of ticket you have. The check-in person won’t send you away. Anyways when there is nobody in the 1st Class line they take the next person from coach anyway, they don’t discriminate. While you’re there as if there is a chance to get your ticket upgraded to Business Class or 1st Class. I’d say that 10% of the time they will if the flight isn’t full ( at least that has been my experience – and I’m an ugly balding man ;o)
If you can’t be the first on the plane be the last, to avoid the elbowing in the isles at boarding.
Aisle seats only for short flights. Too much traffic in the aisles to get any sleep or work done.
Flying is the safest way to travel but the experience can be similar to being in a cattle car.
Heh, thanks Napper!
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